sacred sundays vol. 2

"holy chaos" ☯︎

I started writing today’s newsletter and it just instantly felt way too damn self-righteous. See that’s the thing that always gets me kinda caught up when it comes to my journey with spirituality. I can dance and float so intensely into the higher angelic realms that I can get kinda lost up there. I often have to remind myself to come down to the ground… to come back to this human reality.

Sometimes I’ll find myself reading too many self-help/spirituality books and I’ll unintentionally wear this false mask of a perfectionist “saint”. Sometimes I’ll stay out way too late, drink way too much, and end up on a wild binder where I then find myself wearing the mask of what they call “demon time” (LOL). And guess what… both of these aspects of myself are okay. Your holiness and your chaos both very much exist… they are supposed to. That’s the duality, the yin and the yang, the light, and the shadow.

For most of my life, it’s been a battle for these two opposite aspects of myself to co-exist and understand that they can be friends rather than enemies. This human experience is like a pendulum swinging constantly going from one end of the spectrum to the other. We are not fixed beings. All states are susceptible to change. Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. Too much of anything “good or bad” can be detrimental.

That’s why life is really about making space for all of your extremes to exist. Don’t suppress them… trust me that makes things 10x worse. But just know that when you find your flow, you begin to form a rhythm where you can then dance to your own oscillating beat.

Reminding myself of this is the only way that I can authentically feel like the truest version of myself. It’s how I can wake up every day and feel free. There is no perfect state, there is only wholeness. Accept all the parts of yourself and the magic really begins. The journey becomes a much smoother and way more enjoyable ride.

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON:

What extremes do you often find yourself battling within yourself?

Can you find ways to love all parts of yourself rather than live in shame or guilt?

What parts of yourself are you hiding or dismissing that want to come to light?

NOW PLAYING:

Demon Time by Alex Vaugh ft. Ari Lennox

NOW READING:

Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde

I’ll be discussing this essay in an upcoming newsletter. If you have questions please drop them in the comments below for group discussion.

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Thank you for reading another entry of my ever-evolving newsletter. It feels so refreshing to get my words into the world and out of my head. If you enjoyed today’s newsletter consider becoming a paid subscriber for $5 a month. Anyone who subscribes this month will receive a special e-gift. If you can’t subscribe feel free to share with a friend who this may resonate with.

With love,

Taylor