Hi Taylor, I’m Amber! Your words resonate with me so much. I’ve always dealt with this lingering feeling of loneliness. It used to really put me in a horrible place & as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned how to love myself a little harder during those times. I was the loner *middle* child & used self-isolation to cope with feelings of rejection as well. That mixed with people-pleasing tendencies led me to operate inauthentically & in return fueled my loneliess because I felt like no one knew who I truly was!
I’ve been yearning for community as well, especially because this year has changed so many friendships of mine & how I navigate in them.
As someone who is planning to move away from family to a new city. I would love to know some ways you plan to intentionally curate community.
Amber, thank you for reading. I am so happy this resonated with you. I feel you so deeply, especially adding in the piece about people pleasing SAME! I'm finding even that after writing this it's so easy to dwell in the feeling of isolation rather than seeking solutions to move beyond it. I'm so happy you asked about intentional ways to curate community. For me that looks like finding other spaces to work with and around people outside of freelancing alone. I also am planning to host people at my space for dinner parties and things. I think for going to a new city some things to think about are what your general interests are and then go to places that have those people. Like example if you enjoy art, check out different museums and art galleries! Hope this help and would love to chat more.
I hope you & Taylor don’t mind me adding some suggestions. For the first time I am moving into a season where I will be living close to community that I’ve made primarily from work, in the past I’ve worked with people that I lived far from. I will now live like 5 - 10 minutes from some of them. I read this article that goes into the importance of proximity https://qz.com/1570179/how-to-make-friends-build-a-community-and-create-the-life-you-want (hopefully you can click it). Some other things I’m implementing- weekly extra curricular like a dance class or meet up, getting to know the area on a deeper level, joining the local library ASAP, hosting a quarterly type of party at my place, attend monthly local event, visit every local farmers market- choose my favorite- and make it apart of my weekends, overall re-frame that this season of isolation is due to me moving the furthest away, not based on not engaging. Also I highly recommend astro-cartography, it gave me a lot of insight on why I’m experiencing isolation, it’s the line I currently live on.
Janel, that was a great read! Loved the part about how social media is affecting communities! I sometimes find myself doom scrolling for connection rather than calling up a friend.
Thank you for the suggestions! I looked into astrocartography & it’s definitely interesting. One of my lines is in a place, I’ve been feeling led to!
Sending you good vibes for this new season you’re walking into! 💫
Taylor, I’ve been in a season of isolation is different ways. And I am still in a season of isolation. Now that I can reflect and got some insight through Astro cartography- your birth chart on a map, you click around to see how the location will impact you, it was very spot on (I highly recommend). I lived through different types of isolation, the type due to being in my early twenties and feeling lost & like everything was going wrong, the type while in a relationship- I was immeshed in my ex’s life and was isolating myself to myself, and now a type where I am isolated by distance. I move next week and it’s the first time in my whole life that I will live in a city where I have multiple friends already that I’ve met from work & 1 from college that happened to move there. I look forward to also learning where I live and joining a weekly activity. Dating will also be more promising in the area because there is more young or single folks. So although I’m technically still in my isolation season it’s very different from the past and it’s just the furthest I’ve lived from my family and OG friends. Let me know if you want the link to the astro cartography.
Janel, THANK YOU so much for sharing this. I instanlly went to read more about my astro cartography and WOW..... It was so helpful. I really like the idea of committing to a weekly activity, I feel that that could be really beneficial for me. I am sending you love as you make the big move to your new city and I hope to read more about what this new experience is like for you. ALSO yay to having more dating options available, loveeee that for you lol. That's a wholeeeee different waters to navigate in where I'm at but I feel you.
This was on time, thank you! I’m a fairly independent girlie because of life circumstances, but after 3 years in a more relaxed part of Mexico, I just relocated to Mexico City. It’s my first time living alone in my life. I was sooo lonely those first few weeks and while thankful I made the move, I was hungry for connection. It’s like as soon as I made myself willing to allow people, *the right people* , in my life, they’ve started to filter in. Gratitude. Sending you lots of love as you continue to cultivate your caring community!
Kamil, congrats on the big move to Mexico City! It's on my list for a visit very very soon! :) I'm really happy to hear that you are willing, open, and allowing the right people to come into your life. Sometimes that's truly half of the work right there. I'm sure your energy and aura will continue to bring forth beautiful experiences as you journey in your new space. I look forward to reading more about this exciting new chapter of yours!
I’m getting better at making sure I don’t self isolate just because I’m good at being alone too. It’s conversations like this that open the floor for us to be honest about our needs in wanting to be with others. Thank you🤍
Thank you so much, Tiana. As scary and vulnerable it feels to share things like this, receiving messages like this one always reminds me that these discussion need to happen. We are not alone even when we feel like it.
I appreciate so many things about this entry. First off: that self-portrait! Wow. It really speaks to the vulnerability of stepping into community. Feels like a frame-worthy photograph.
And this line really stood out to me, "The difference now is that I am finally aware and able to recognize that I want to choose differently." This awareness, this noticing, is the genesis of change. It sounds like even though you had settled into some well-worn ways, you're ready to start carving out a new story for yourself. That is so powerful.
I can relate to the feeling lonely as a result of self-isolation. I kept a lot of my experiences to myself because I thought I was supposed to. I didn't want to "burden" my friends with my deeper thoughts, struggles and ideas. But a few years ago, God whispered in my ear that it was time to open up to my four best friends. At first, I was scared that it would break our friendship in some way. Instead, my friendships were broken OPEN. Turns out they had all been praying for deeper connections, too.
May you find people who are willing to go deep with you, too. Thank you for sharing your voice here ♥️
Taylor, this is right on time! And I am happy / proud that you are using the wisdom and grief of the former compulsive / habitual isolationism to guide you into your blessing: aligned, intentional community. There is so much to what you share that I deeply resonate with. Tonight, a day after my birthday, I am carving out time to do my 2nd annual “friend review” -- something that a business coach guided me to do last year as an intentional practice of clarification. Maybe that ritual will help
Hi Taylor, I’m Amber! Your words resonate with me so much. I’ve always dealt with this lingering feeling of loneliness. It used to really put me in a horrible place & as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned how to love myself a little harder during those times. I was the loner *middle* child & used self-isolation to cope with feelings of rejection as well. That mixed with people-pleasing tendencies led me to operate inauthentically & in return fueled my loneliess because I felt like no one knew who I truly was!
I’ve been yearning for community as well, especially because this year has changed so many friendships of mine & how I navigate in them.
As someone who is planning to move away from family to a new city. I would love to know some ways you plan to intentionally curate community.
Thanks for sharing your journey. 💕
Amber, thank you for reading. I am so happy this resonated with you. I feel you so deeply, especially adding in the piece about people pleasing SAME! I'm finding even that after writing this it's so easy to dwell in the feeling of isolation rather than seeking solutions to move beyond it. I'm so happy you asked about intentional ways to curate community. For me that looks like finding other spaces to work with and around people outside of freelancing alone. I also am planning to host people at my space for dinner parties and things. I think for going to a new city some things to think about are what your general interests are and then go to places that have those people. Like example if you enjoy art, check out different museums and art galleries! Hope this help and would love to chat more.
This helped a ton! Thanks so much!
Hi Amber,
I hope you & Taylor don’t mind me adding some suggestions. For the first time I am moving into a season where I will be living close to community that I’ve made primarily from work, in the past I’ve worked with people that I lived far from. I will now live like 5 - 10 minutes from some of them. I read this article that goes into the importance of proximity https://qz.com/1570179/how-to-make-friends-build-a-community-and-create-the-life-you-want (hopefully you can click it). Some other things I’m implementing- weekly extra curricular like a dance class or meet up, getting to know the area on a deeper level, joining the local library ASAP, hosting a quarterly type of party at my place, attend monthly local event, visit every local farmers market- choose my favorite- and make it apart of my weekends, overall re-frame that this season of isolation is due to me moving the furthest away, not based on not engaging. Also I highly recommend astro-cartography, it gave me a lot of insight on why I’m experiencing isolation, it’s the line I currently live on.
THIS IS GOLD!
Janel, that was a great read! Loved the part about how social media is affecting communities! I sometimes find myself doom scrolling for connection rather than calling up a friend.
Thank you for the suggestions! I looked into astrocartography & it’s definitely interesting. One of my lines is in a place, I’ve been feeling led to!
Sending you good vibes for this new season you’re walking into! 💫
Taylor, I’ve been in a season of isolation is different ways. And I am still in a season of isolation. Now that I can reflect and got some insight through Astro cartography- your birth chart on a map, you click around to see how the location will impact you, it was very spot on (I highly recommend). I lived through different types of isolation, the type due to being in my early twenties and feeling lost & like everything was going wrong, the type while in a relationship- I was immeshed in my ex’s life and was isolating myself to myself, and now a type where I am isolated by distance. I move next week and it’s the first time in my whole life that I will live in a city where I have multiple friends already that I’ve met from work & 1 from college that happened to move there. I look forward to also learning where I live and joining a weekly activity. Dating will also be more promising in the area because there is more young or single folks. So although I’m technically still in my isolation season it’s very different from the past and it’s just the furthest I’ve lived from my family and OG friends. Let me know if you want the link to the astro cartography.
Janel, THANK YOU so much for sharing this. I instanlly went to read more about my astro cartography and WOW..... It was so helpful. I really like the idea of committing to a weekly activity, I feel that that could be really beneficial for me. I am sending you love as you make the big move to your new city and I hope to read more about what this new experience is like for you. ALSO yay to having more dating options available, loveeee that for you lol. That's a wholeeeee different waters to navigate in where I'm at but I feel you.
This was on time, thank you! I’m a fairly independent girlie because of life circumstances, but after 3 years in a more relaxed part of Mexico, I just relocated to Mexico City. It’s my first time living alone in my life. I was sooo lonely those first few weeks and while thankful I made the move, I was hungry for connection. It’s like as soon as I made myself willing to allow people, *the right people* , in my life, they’ve started to filter in. Gratitude. Sending you lots of love as you continue to cultivate your caring community!
Kamil, congrats on the big move to Mexico City! It's on my list for a visit very very soon! :) I'm really happy to hear that you are willing, open, and allowing the right people to come into your life. Sometimes that's truly half of the work right there. I'm sure your energy and aura will continue to bring forth beautiful experiences as you journey in your new space. I look forward to reading more about this exciting new chapter of yours!
Thanks boo and hit me up once you touch down! I've been bulding my list of the best eats around!
And yesss, speak it true! I'm a words of affirmation girlie, so you're talking my language. It's all received, thank you!
I’m getting better at making sure I don’t self isolate just because I’m good at being alone too. It’s conversations like this that open the floor for us to be honest about our needs in wanting to be with others. Thank you🤍
Thank you so much, Tiana. As scary and vulnerable it feels to share things like this, receiving messages like this one always reminds me that these discussion need to happen. We are not alone even when we feel like it.
I appreciate so many things about this entry. First off: that self-portrait! Wow. It really speaks to the vulnerability of stepping into community. Feels like a frame-worthy photograph.
And this line really stood out to me, "The difference now is that I am finally aware and able to recognize that I want to choose differently." This awareness, this noticing, is the genesis of change. It sounds like even though you had settled into some well-worn ways, you're ready to start carving out a new story for yourself. That is so powerful.
I can relate to the feeling lonely as a result of self-isolation. I kept a lot of my experiences to myself because I thought I was supposed to. I didn't want to "burden" my friends with my deeper thoughts, struggles and ideas. But a few years ago, God whispered in my ear that it was time to open up to my four best friends. At first, I was scared that it would break our friendship in some way. Instead, my friendships were broken OPEN. Turns out they had all been praying for deeper connections, too.
May you find people who are willing to go deep with you, too. Thank you for sharing your voice here ♥️
Taylor, this is right on time! And I am happy / proud that you are using the wisdom and grief of the former compulsive / habitual isolationism to guide you into your blessing: aligned, intentional community. There is so much to what you share that I deeply resonate with. Tonight, a day after my birthday, I am carving out time to do my 2nd annual “friend review” -- something that a business coach guided me to do last year as an intentional practice of clarification. Maybe that ritual will help
serve you, too.